CHEAP CARS: October 2009

So, how did you like the mean and nasty Sgt. Rex Malone and our very first challenge officially sponsored by Brothers-Brick? Did they sufficiently motivate you to build some very cool post-apocalyptic zombie killing vehicles? I think so. Lets see how we did, shall we?

A while ago Jordan Neves of Brick Flotilla wrote a funny blog post about how stupid and predictable post apocalyptic vehicles can be. He goes on to offer an example using the official lego tractor and then slapping a bunch of ladders, spikes, stickers,plows,guns and bionicle parts all over it...because zombies hate bionicle, right? Well, Beuk takes the humorous advice to heart and sets the trend on the first day of the challenge with this Tractor based on Jordan's rant. Lets see how many other MOCs follow suit.

Without spikes, ladders or stickers, j0n4th4n_d3rk53n produces a decidedly un-apocalyptic looking box truck. Its sleek, red and unassuming...until you open the rear panels! Hidden within is an entire arsenal of deadly weapons just ready to take down any zombie hordes in its path.

Then later he hits us with what he simply calls Apocalypse Van. Its little, gray and kinda cute, but don't let that fool ya! Just like his first entry, this one has an array of hidden weapons.

q 159...is probably a robot with a name like that. I've seen Battlestar Galactica so I know how those Cylons are. Programmed to assimilate, he/she/it has built a pretty neat garbage truck that follows all the rules of how a post-apocalyptic vehicle should be. With guns, ladders, buzz saw blades and razor wire, this little truck looks like it takes out more than just the garbage!

Historically, the early part of the challenge is usually reserved for the kiddies. I'm just sayin' is all. Enthusiasm for the new challenge has all the kids racing to their Lego collections to be the first to build the next greatest thing. The heavy hitting adults, on the other hand, have jobs, complex Bricklink orders and longer build times which makes it so they show up much later. Which is why it was so surprising that Firas Abu-Jaber entered this post-apoc truck early on. Also surprising is its small scale. But Firas had a good time with this and built an unusual little MOC still worthy of the famous "Cars Paradise" style.

Steve "kwykstix" Walker has built a very cool post-apoc Bullfrog Shipping Truck complete with armor and a cattle prod. Or zombie prod. The tag line says "When it absolutely, positively has to get there through zombie infested territory, call BullFrog Shipping." A little frog guards as a hood ornament proving that they really mean business!

Tim "rabidnovaracer" Inman has threw together this little Urban Assault Vehicle. Yanno how its always real quiet right before a serious storm? Well, consider this the silence before the storm. Lets use this silence to tell you a little about zombies. They're not real...well, not in the undead brain eating sense anyway. The word zombie (or zombii) comes from Haiti and derrives from their voodoo practices. There are certain poisons you can administer that slows a persons heart rate to nearly nothing making them appear to be dead. More on zombies later...here comes the storm!

Holy mother of crap...just look at the size of this thing! Tim set out to build the biggest, baddest, coolest Lego hummer ever seen and I think he's done it. This beast is 42 studs wide and 72 studs long and weighs a whopping 10 lbs!It features functional four wheel drive, four wheel independant suspension and working steering. I've seen this monster in person and the suspension was just straining under its weight. Kinda like a fat guy straining to lift a couch....heeeerrrrrrnia!

Aaron makes the zombie apocalypse, or rather the aaaaarrrrrrpocalypse, seem fun with the ever resourceful road pirates. According to his story, they find a dilapidated old fixer-upper, then turn it into the baddest zombie killing road vehicle around. It has the standard spikes, ladders and chains, but Aaron gets extra kudos for giving it a fun pirate's sail and crows nest. That's that basket looking thing usually atop a tall ship's mast...its called a crow's nest. And now you know.

Later in the challenge, Aaron apocafies an old build of his with some of his VicLUG friends. Looks like a big crazy fire truck or a van converted to a pickup with a powerful gun...or something. Neat!

Long before the official set came out, Aaron and his buddy Rod built this Zombine Harvester. There's just something about a big ol' honkin' thresher that makes you want to grind up zombies. Its true too, there were like six of these at the Zombie Apocafest table at BrickCon...all of them different, gut churning disgusting and just plain awesome! I'm digging this one, too.

Philip Ryman built a '27 Chevy with gatling and chain gun. Yep. Ooooh, nows a good time to tell you more about zombies! As mentioned before there are certain poisons that can make someone's heart rate slow making them seem dead. Occasionally people have come out of this stupor days or even weeks later but in the time spent in a coma, poor circulation would give someone a gray, gaunt appearance. Also lack of circulation would cause brain cells to die so the person wakes with brain damage, forgetting important memories and basic social functions. This is how people thought they were monsters back from the dead. There were even stories of people waking up at their own funerals and rightfully scaring the bejesus outta everyone in attendance. Scary, huh?

Philip also built an apocalyptic hatchback with a flat 4 and a bunch of guns. He said a couple of guys living in a fallout shelter were looking for vehicles to fix when...yanno, I read zombie poison is very difficult to make. It involves all kinds of strange plants, a whole cocktail of different toxins and blowfish venom and such. Look, just read The Serpent And The Rainbow, ok? Its written by a Harvard educated anthropologist. It explains it all. But don't watch the movie, its only loosely based on the book and it sucks ass!

Ok, back to the round up! Sharpspeed built himself a Brawler Hellraiser heavily modded for zombie killing. It has a big gun and a sigfig and...yeah, look, I'm not saying the book is right or wrong. I know its been heavily criticized but Just read the damn thing already! What else are you gonna do with your free time? Its scary but its considered non-fiction. You guys like reading scary books, dontcha? I mean, its October. All Hallow's Eve...Halloween. Ewwwww it's a scary month!

This challenge has been sadly void of Ralph. He's been busy plus he's not so much into the zombie thing. Yeah, I know but what can you do? However, his close friend Ed "Lego Monster" Diment joined in on all the zombie killing fun with this...um...Zombie Harvester. According to the write up, the farmers and ore miners of New Portsmouth got together soon after the apocalypse. Fed up of the zombie raids, they converted an old ore hauling truck into the ultimate in Zombie killing. If you absolutely positively have to mow down a field full of zombies, accept no substitute! Be sure to check out the minifig gunner who looks like me named Lino. Now that's what I'm talking about!

Kin.Lego takes some time off his important studies to build quite possibly the only post-apoc car specially designed to pull wheelies. It has guns and a flame thrower. After gunning down a few zombies it'll look pretty damned cool peeling out on two wheels into the sunset!

Then much later in the challenge, Kin Lego pulls off this last minute entry called The CAT. Its all about modifying your average civilian vehicles, people. Why, with the right tools you can turn any rental car into a zombie killing machine! This entails chopping off the roof, and installing a kickass flamethrower and maybe a bunch of spikes. Get it? its funny cuz you're not supposed to mess up a rental car. Hah!

Dohoon Kim builds himself a badass post-apoc Shelby Mustang GT500 Super Snake. Ever notice there's like two animals in that name?...Mustang, cobra, super snake. Its not quite sure what animal it wants to be. But Dohoon gave it some spotlights, gated armor and other doodads to give it that apocalyptic feel. Hah, it was probably a rental car anyway.

Raphy didn't kill many brain cells thinking up the name for his new creation. I present to you...the Apoc Truck. Yeah, told ya it was sort of blah. But what it lacks in name it more than makes up for in firepower...as much as a modern tank, says Raphy. Its kinda neat, actually.

Realizing you get more written about you with multiple entries, Raphy whips up this Humvee with a trailer and flamethrowers galore. He is the first and only LUGNut to build a fig of the mean and nasty Sgt. Rex Malone. And who is the minifig hottie beside him? She must be none other than Mary Jane Rotten Crotch. You see, when I thought of the voice and character for Sgt. Rex Malone, I was channeling the great R. Lee Ermey of Full Metal Jacket fame. If you haven't seen the movie, he's a real life tough as nails drill sergeant who mentions Mary Jane Rotten Crotch quite a bit. You boys be careful out there...may you never meet a Mary Jane Rotten Crotch. And if you do, put a helmet on that soldier!

And just in the knickers of time, Raphy chimes in with a third entry, a Modified Appaloosa Torrent-90. Its juuuust the thing for all your post-apocalyptic needs. Yanno guys, you can youtube R. Lee Ermey in action. I'd provide you the links but I don't want to contribute to the delinquency of your already soft brains so check it out for yourselves. You know that old adage about...this is my rifle, this is my gun? This one's for fightin' this one's for fun! If you're anything like me, you can occasionally get the two mixed up, but R. Lee Ermey explains it all in very clear terms. And he's always wanting to know your major malfunction.

We go from Raphy's cute little post-apoc creations and scale up the mayhem with Dylan Denton's badass early 90's flatbed truck! Be sure to check out the video that showcases the moving features including that deadly exposed engine just waiting to grind up a zombie into minced meat. Looks like that gruesome job has already been done as evidenced by the blood splatter. This is one MOC I would have loved to have seen in person. I'm just diggin' the razor wire, the window netting, the whole thing! This is what badass apocalyptic vehicles are all about.

And now we move onto this...um...thing built by Tim "Gambort" Gould. It...uh...well...what can I say? Its not even a vehicle, really. Say, did you know Tim is a well respected builder, Lego Ambassador and writer for Brothers-Brick? Yep, its true. So you'd think I'd be able to come up with a pantload of praise for this but um...I know there was a dust storm in Brisbane and...um...that's about it. I suspect there is some sarcasm involved here. So...um...let us bow our heads for what used to be Tim's sanity. Clearly it is long gone.

Jason son chimes in with this rough and tumble creation called...um...Post Apoc Truck. No brain cells were destroyed in the thinking up of that name either, but I am digging its six wheeled configuration, spotlights and its overall badassity. Is that a word? My spellcheck says that it's not. What does spellcheck know anyway? I mean, I was writing a comment on flickr the other day and spellcheck doesn't even know what "teabagging " means. Geez!

What do you get when you raid a forgotten beach and an abandoned community theatre? Throw in a Ford F-100 pickup and you've got Nathan Proudlove's Mobile Lookout Tower. The premise is based heavily on the Cobra truck from Mad Max 2 with suped-up zoomies and a boat windshield. Not happy with the standard gun that goes in the back of any post-apoc truck, Nathan asked his Mrs what should go back there. She said a lifeguard's tower. It turns out she has a lot of great ideas...remember Nathan's Mystery Machine? I've seen this in person and I have to say the tower is spectacular! This is one post-apoc vehicle with no guns or armor but it works perfectly with the theme. The chains and theatre box lights tops off this unforgettable MOC!

Lino Martins joins in on all the zombie killing action with my Mobile Slaughterhouse. Yeah, lets face it, I didn't kill many brain cells thinking up that name either but the write up says after the unthinking zombie masses turned this otherwise mild mannered family's prize stallion into horse liver haggis, they wanted revenge. What used to be their horse trailer opens clamshell style to reveal the gruesome kill floor where they string up zombies to be split open and made into glue. Because, after the apocalypse, its apparently OK to engage in disgusting activity that would make even Hannibal Lecter shudder. Hey, zombies aren't people anymore so its OK, right? No? I mean zombies eat brains, right? Right? C'mon, guys!

Mobile Slaughterhouse...We Don't Need No Stinkin' Horseys!

This 2nd entry by me will help explain some of my thought process. There is a certain feel to post-apoc vehicles. Lots of black, brown and gray...lots of badass guns and armor. How can I stand out? Something bright, maybe. What's bright and colorful? Something strange and memorable. A gay pride float! A zombie killin' gay pride float! Hah! Funny, but do I have any better ideas? I tried to get it out of my mind but it turns out it had to be done. So off I went building the biggest, gayest MOC ever...pink tractor and all! As predicted it mostly went very well with a couple of haters as the rare exception who thought this was in poor taste. Sure you can slice a zombie in half with a buzz saw (that really spins when you push the float along!) but put a few minifig homosexuals on a big happy float and suddenly its in poor taste. Well, love it or hate it, this won Best Original Apocafied Vehicle at BrickCon! I coudn't be happier with how that turned out.

Legotanks continues the notion that combine harvesters should just be converted into zombie mulching machines. I mean, it just makes perfect sense, really. His write up nails down the concept by explaining that the apocalypse would mean unemployment for the farmers who provided food to the world's living. So why not make less of the undead zombie hordes with this refurbished combine called...Blood Harvest. Great name! The thresher has been shortened to fit down narrow streets, it has two motion sensitive gatling guns and check out the gruesome stream of blood coming from the exhaust chute! And just in case the zombie action really hits the fan, there is a fail safe device strapped to the back that would take out the human farmer, his harvester and probably about 30 city blocks worth of zombies!

Legotanks also takes a 1965 Oshkosh snowblower and turns it into...the Meat Plow. Zombies apparently can't resist a beautiful delicious smelling maiden dangling a turkey leg on a string while seated atop some shiny rapidly spinning machinery. Zombies just aren't smart at all. its a wonder anyone gets killed by zombies in movies, but they do...boy do they ever! Solid zombie friends made into...less solid zombie friends...BAD! But delicious girl brains...GOOD! Zombie mulcher making big ouchie...BAD! Pretty girl brains...GOOD! When will they ever learn?

New guy Samthelegoman1 has constructed The Life Saver, this is an Ecto-1 type retro ambulance station wagon converted into a badass zombie combat ambulance. This vehicle is operated by Chuck and Doc and their lovable dog, Rex. I'm personally digging the dirt bike chained to the side. It seems in a post-apoc world, a simple bike trailor would be hard to come by so you must strap that baby to the side of the vehicle along with any other gear and doodads you can find. its such a great look. I can never get tired of awesome post-apoc vehicles!

Newbie Olafo gets ahold of a temporary camera just in the nick of time to present his trio of entries. First up is Big Mack, a nasty big rig that hauls a badass tank turret. It even comes with a soundtrack. His photo provides a link to AC/DC's timeless Highway to Hell, which is what anyone would be listening to if they drive this truck. I know I would.

Next on the Olafo post-apoc slab is a simple Four Wheeled ATV called Fodder. it doesn't have a soundtrack but it should. In keeping with his badass heavy metal motif, I'm thinking anything by Metallica would suit this little vehicle well. Yes? No? What do you think?

His third entry called Shot Rod would not be the safest thing to drive while plowing down a massive horde of zombies, but I imagine it would be fun to shoot them down from a distance while racing down the highway...perhaps while listening to Motorhead's Ace of Spades. He started with the whole soundtrack thing, and I'm just embellishing with it. Neat little hot rod!

The virtually unknown Legot465 has whipped up the Zombie Death Jeep. He's so completely unknown, in fact that there are no pics in his photostream, no profile, no contacts and only one comment on this photo. A comment that says...awesome! A comment left by legot465 himself. I guess when you have absolutely nothing going for you, padding your photostream with your own praise is a good idea. Better than no praise at all, I suppose. Good times, good times.

Ever wonder why post-apoc vehicles look the way they do anyway? I mean, why do they slap a bunch of guns, barbed wire, and cages on a beat up old vehicle anyway? Lego911 knows why. I mean, his homeland of Australia practically invented the post-apoc look, so what better way is there to honor his country and this theme than the franchise that stated it all in the first place? Here is the vehicle that started it all...The Australian built Mad Max Ford Falcon Interceptor. Incidentally lego911 lives near and drives on the very same roads these badass Mad Max cars raced on in the movies. In my opinion, this challenge could not be complete without this car and Lego911 was just the perfect guy to have built it.

Last but not least, Azaghal Gabilzaramul, the LUGNut with the hardest name ever puts a gangster spin on all this zombie killing business with this creation. Johnny Opera and his crew clean up the streets (so to speak) by blasting zombies oldschool gangster style. Check out that bloody spray pattern behind the disintegrated zombie head. man, I wish I had that undersea plant piece!

So, as it should, Zombie Apocalypse Killfest '09 ended with a big bloody bang! What do we have in store this month then? Well, its our special two year anniversary challenge. This means you can build from any of the previous 12...nix that...24 challenges! Will you build a sleek, stealthy car for Agent Janus or are you more inclined to show some Junkers and Clunkers a little love?The sky is the limit when you get to choose from anything in our celebratory 24th challenge. Happy 2nd birthday, LUGNuts!